Happy Holidays!!!

Our cat, Dolly (who is on the left in the photo, and sister Sammie is on the right), writes an annual holiday letter that we send out to family and friends. She's asked me to post it here so everyone can read her wonderful and well-crafted account of our lives this past year and wish a happy holiday season to all. I wonder where she gets her writing abilities from?

December 2008

Hello, everyone! It’s Dolly Bouffard Beutke DeVito writing my annual holiday letter that you all know and love. By now, you should recognize me as the favorite (I still tell my sister Sammie she is adopted) feline daughter of Allyson and David. Due to the horrible state of the economy, my parents aren’t out shopping for our Christmas presents this year. How rude!

It’s hard to believe we’ve been in Knoxville for three holiday seasons. No offense to our Floridian family and friends, but we don’t miss being in Florida in the 80-degree heat during the holidays. My parents are hoping for a white Christmas, but that means Sammie and I will have to go outside for photos!

Well, it’s finally happened! We have some exciting baby news to share. My parents……… bought a fish tank and some guppies in the spring. The female they bought, Athena, gave birth about six times to a dozen fish each time before going to that big toilet in the sky. (I had you thinking something else didn’t I.) But it appears that all the baby fish she had are males, so now there’s a tank full of fraternity brothers.

My dad has traveled a lot this year for his job as a postdoctoral research scientist at Oak Ridge National Lab. He went to Davis, California in April and then to Santa Rosa, California in October to check out really cool research stuff that he can’t even tell me about. He also went to his annual weeklong AVS conference in Boston during October. AVS used to stand for American Vacuum Society, but now it’s just AVS since I guess people thought they sold vacuum cleaners instead of doing vacuum science. The former name really sucked! (I don’t think I’m supposed to use that word.)

My mom is in her third year of the Ph.D. program in journalism and electronic media at the University of Tennessee. She has completed her coursework and will take comprehensive exams in January and then start writing this really long paper called a dissertation about media ethics, which she says some people think is an oxymoron.

Here’s a funny story about my dad’s dissertation. When he was working on it in Florida and had all his papers laid out on the table, I decided to try some of his cold coffee, so I dipped my precious little paw in his cup and realized it wasn’t water. Naturally, I did what any cat would do. I flung my paw full of coffee all over his papers. I still laugh about that to this day.

My mom loves teaching, but she’s still amazed about what her some of her students don’t know. She likes to give them news quizzes since they are future journalists, and in September she asked who presidential candidate Barack Obama had chosen as his running mate. She actually had some students write “John McCain.” (For Republicans who are still in denial about our country’s future, the correct answer is Joe Biden.) I obviously can’t vote, but I know it was a historic election. However, we’ve heard more about Obama’s family getting a dog than his economic stimulus plan and how he’s going to handle healthcare. Focus on the issues humans!

Sammie and I are concerned about the lack of a feline in the White House. Don’t they realize how much time a dog takes up and how messy and smelly they are! They’d be much better off with a cat. I’m not volunteering myself since my parents love me too much, but Sammie might make a good choice!

When gas prices were of course at their highest, my parents made four trips to Florida in seven months, and they’re sorry if they didn’t have a chance to see all of you who live there. All of the trips revolved around a family event, so it was difficult to make the rounds and just relax.

Last December, they went to Uncle Jason’s UF graduation, where he gave a wonderful speech. In May, Uncle Jason married Aunt Kristen in Ormond, Florida. A few weeks later, Grandma and Grandpa Beutke celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary (June 1, 1968), so my parents and Uncle Jason and Aunt Kristen planned a surprise party in Alachua, Florida. Everyone who was in their wedding party was invited to a special dinner. In July, they went to Winter Haven, Florida for a surprise 50th birthday party for Grandma Muller. I’m actually almost as old as her in cat years.

They’ll head back to Florida in March when my dad’s sister, Aunt Allison, and Uncle Matt are married in Orlando. Congrats to Uncle Matt, another UF graduate, who earned his MBA this December! My parents can’t wait to meet the new cousins on my dad’s side, Kalynn and Jeannah. Also, a special shout out and thank you to Lisa, Holly and Paul for taking care of us whenever the parents are gone. I don’t know what we’d do without them except starve to death!

My parents also went to Chicago in August for my mom’s conference with a bunch of academic journalists. Talk about a group that’s rolling in the dough! A few days later they were off to Ohio for my dad’s research. During those two weeks they drove through Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois, a first for both of them.

Our only visitors this year were Grandma and Grandpa Muller and Grandma Bouffard who came up in October. Mom and Dad took them to Cades Cove to see the fall colors. I hope it’s not Sammie’s bad breath that keeps other family members away. It’s really horrific. Please come visit us. We can always lock her in the garage.

During this holiday season, we hope your gas prices are low and your retirement savings are high. Remember, if you have pets, have them spayed or neutered. Sadly, I no longer watch “The Price is Right.” I’m sure Drew Carey is a nice guy, but he’s no Bob Barker.

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Love,

Dolly, Sammie, David, and Allyson DeVito


P.S. You all know my true love for Florida football quarterback Tim Tebow. He is awesome, and I’d love to see him win another Heisman trophy. Maybe he can give me the second one to put on top of my litter box. The Gators rock and the Tennessee Volunteers are uh, um, well, good…in basketball (let’s hope!). Go Gators! Go Vols!